Some things.

Pressure! Pressure! Pressure!

I have to think of something new, creative and out of this world. And guess what? I simply can't. Because my brain joined this "don't follow Kyla. Don't cooperate with her. She's a maniac with two stick up heads" club and started disobeying me. In lay man's terms, it stop DEAD! The loose screws (apparently caused by the well-deserved Christmas break I had and am having) inside my head's started hesitating processing the word "WORK" Damn. This work-repellent brain might never want to take in some information anymore. OH NO! And eventually, I won't be able to come up with something ..creative! ARRRRGGGHH!

And to top it all off..

MY GUITAR'S BROKEN.
Now there goes a surprise!
Can't my life get any sweeter? :|

UOI! Right now, as in NOW, I realized that I don't want to make mysterious entries anymore. And when I said "mysterious", I meant those entries with double meaning (and NOT in a dirty, nasty way. OK?) Haha. That used to be my thing. I ALWAYS put up different words, different stories and believe me, its far more different from the real reality. (Ain't that just weird and senseless? ..putting the words "real" and "reality" together?)

I don't get myself. So how could you?

...

Question:

Why do I make such loooooong entries?

A Simple Yes and A Deadly No

I sat there dumfounded. It was a simple question really, but I found myself rummaging for the answer - the right answer.

Yes was clearly the right answer and the expected answer from me. But I was severly torn between Yes and No. It was a death trap.

What is wrong with me?
It's a glorious day ahead, Kyla.
Why now?

...

Last night: 12:47pm

His timely snores signifies his death-defying trip to sleep's city. And her infrequent updates always entice my irregularly beaten heart.

Fate exists but it can only take you so far because once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen.

...

Hala araw araw na akong may entry.
Is this good for my health?

Masama bang gumawa ng entry araw araw?..

SO NOT!!!

I am SO NOT doing that for you. SO NOT SO NOT. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER! Just get the hell out of my stinking life, will you? damn it! That stupid letter changed EVERYTHING she thought I was me. And it's not even true.. well, it is. BUT that's the "face" of the truth. There's something better behind that face and you don't even know it. I know it and you don't have the right to conceal it to anybody. You don't know me and I definitely don't want to know you. If only you hadn't seen that letter. IF ONLY I WAS RESPONSIBLE and VIGILANT ENOUGH TO KEEP IT FROM YOU. DAMN YOU and MYSELF!

Pambili sa mukha mong maganda

I NEED MONEY.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
AYOKO NA. PANIC!!!

*strides from side to side.*

*dug dug dug dug*

..breaks down and

*cries*

Boohoo.
I had money. But I spent them all!
Now, I badly need it. And it's all gone!

POOF!

*cries even more*

I need 5000 pesos EXACTLY. *sniff*
And I need it before February. Damn.

Ok. I know you can't help.
I just want to share my negatively feverish frustration. :'(


ngayon ka pa sumulpot kng kelan kelangan ko ng pera..

I Can't Believe I Compared It To "Paper"

I saw a picture. The picture of my life. My damned life. It's in this big big sheet of paper, filled with so many wonderful and devastating things. ALL in one sheet. It was a life I never thought would suddenly turn into a humongous monster prepared to gobble me up. I've pondered about all this days ago .. and it terrifies me, to the bits. Brings me the shrills, the shivers. I suddenly felt afraid of what could possibly happen in a few days, in a few months, years? probably. A sincere uncertainty propping my every move.

I have seen that paper - my life - being strong and fighting for it like a strong soldier in the middle of a disastrous battle; Giving up everything for the only thing that satisfies him: surviving the battle with his head held up high. But as we all know, not all wars are meant to be won. Not all battles are victorious. Some soldiers are unluckily hit by one (or two) of the millions of bullets. One soldier falls ..and dies. A heartrending scene. He's left alone by his co-soldiers who beforehand promised to never leave him - to never to let him down. But they did. And it pains him.

And then I realize.. I can never be that fighting soldier. I used to be, but not anymore. I'm a coward now - I know. I'm scared of taking risks. And at this rate there's simply no chance of going back.

I'm suddenly obliged to carry this gigantic ball of steel life wants me to.

But wait ...oh no, you're wrong.
It's not a burden.
Never a burden.
It's more of a blessing.
And it's meant to be treasured, be jubilant about.

But why am I feeling very apprehensive about all this? Am I scared of what might come? Am I scared of the consequences? What will happen to me after those unsuspecting instances? Those moments I dearly don't deserve? What if it all ends like one sheet of paper wasted and trampled? What if this perfectly made, carefully whitened paper becomes crumpled, dirty and filthy? Will it withstand the test of time? Of the wind? Of the rain? Of the storm? Of the people?

After going through all this pain and doubt.. When will it fly freely into the sky? Can it bring back what have been wasted and unnnoticed? Will the soldier finally grasp some strength and some faith to stand up, grab his gun and fight?

..will it bring the pieces back together?

I don't know really but I'm hoping it can.
'Cause if it can. So can the soldier. So can I.

All we need to do is believe. Have faith.
Every paper can be recycled. It can be made to paper again. We just need to know what there is to do. We need to stay strong .. hold on to that piece of paper.

That piece of paper called.. you

Ang Aking Masasabi

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

Guys. Pasko na.

MAGBAGO NA KAYO!

..salamat sa mga nag-regalo sa akin. Hindi ko inaakalang maaalala niyo pa ako. I am deeply honored to be around such people. Dahil sa inyo, SOBRANG NAHIHIYA AKO SA MGA REGALO KO SA INYO. sorry.. sorry talaga.

Next time, pakibawasan po yung scotch tape ha?.. Haha!

SALAMAT!

I know you all hate me. pero mahal ko kayong lahat. <3

Nga pala, MALIGAYANG BATI sa mga may birthday!

And lastly, my tip for the new year:

Be true to yourselves. It'll help you and the people around you. Believe me.

Ahhahah!

I just finished cleaning our kitchen. Oh no not the whole kitchen. Just one corner.. and the 2 refs.. and the oven. :)

I am proud! I can clean.

And so while I was cleaning the oh-so-naughty (naughty kasi ayaw niyang pumuti!), dad saw me. He had this evil smile on his face. This mischievous grin that sends me this message that he will soon mock me. and so.. he did. He got his camera and started taking pictures of me cleaning! He said he was gonna use it for blackmail. Evil dad on the run. Hahaha!

Ok. wala lng. Just want to share.

...

Hala. Araw-araw na akong may entry.

Is this good for my health?

It Wasn't That Bad

I just got home from Gale. It was fun really, even though I shopped mostly on my own. Naubos pera ko! Haha! 60 pesos na lang ang natira. That's just because I already bought gifts for next year. And hell I bought EIGHT CDs! whoah. That cost me a fortune! 2 from Sugarfree. Sponge Cola. 6 Cycle Mind. Rocksteddy. Ereserheads (Special edition - basta yung CD na tribute sa knila.). Soapdish. Pupil.

Oh yes. Now I'm not deprived of the pleasures in life.

Mia's classmates are all cool. They're not the snobbish, I'm-cool-don't-touch-me type of kids. At least I can say not all freshmen are like that. They're really nice actually. :)

So Alone ..again

This morning we went to our usual Simbang Gabi mass. I was still sleepy and my eyes are just drooping to hell. And what I just said has nothing to do with the real story that I'm gonna tell.

So here's the story.

For no reason, I brought my diary with me. While waiting for the priest, I read my past entries and browsed through everything. I was a bit shock of the whirlwind my life has been through and most especially the problems I've come into and out. I read some of the poems I made and immediately I was inspired to write another one. I thought of a topic and.. BOOM! It just zoomed right through me, the words came pouring out. It was overwhelming. The feeling was unexplainable. Basta. I can't explain it. Someday I'll post that poem here but you'll never know that it was the poem. haha.

Everytime I attend the Simbang Gabi, my attention would always be caught by this guy who, like me, was present at every mass. He was there along with his mother. I noticed him from the first time I saw him. It wasn't because I thought he was cute, or hot, or sexy, or handsome.. but it was because of his jacket. Oh yess! I ADORE HIS JACKET! It was soo beautiful. I LOVE IT TO THE BITS! Every Simbang Gabi mass we go to, he was wearing the same jacket and everytime I see it I'm just loving it more and more. God. How I want that jacket. It was really to die for.

Oh yeah. Kingkong was weird. Why? Let's just say I slept at the latter part of the movie. AND! It made me hate ants more. elch.

Kyla will always be Kyla. :)

I'm going to Gale later. Anyone want to come? If ever, I'm just there.. from 10am 'til 3pm. I'm going with my sister whose going with her friends. In short, I'm going alone. :'( Samahan niyo ako.

Someone just called. Soft-spoken. Pa-cute. My heart skipped a beat.
I thought it was her. :'(

2nd Post?

Seems like the expected text or call from you will never come. Am I used to this kind of torture? .. honestly, yes, I have been exposed to this kind of trouble before. See it's not the waiting that bothers me truly but the cause of your sudden disappearance from the world that used to be yours. I sure can wait ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT for you. But I know there is something behind this. A valid and reasonable cause. I don't know what happened exactly. I don't know yet.

Was it the txts? Was it the misleading contents of the txt?
..or was it just me? I will never know.

You never called me.
Or txted me.






uh.. This isn't a big deal, really. ok? I just think it's post-worthy enough to be told and to be shared. :)

1st Post

I know you're all going .. "BAGONG LAYOUT NA NAMAN?!?!" Hahaha! Oh well. I'm not satisfied with one layout. I get bored you know! And when I've got nothing else to do, I look for new layouts. When I see one that I like better than the one I'm using now, TADAH! I new layout will be used. I bet in a few more days, I'd be changing this layout.. again

Well, today is another day unplanned. Yep! I bet I'm just gonna be another bum today. Stuck in front of the computer not even noticing the hands of time moving. I'm currently compiling an MP3 cd. And DAMN! It's taking toooooo loooong!

Lately I've been avoiding ants. Yes. Ants. I know they're so little and so fragile. And that I can take them all with one big step. Or hose them so they all go squiggly squiggly in that big puddle. Or spray them with Baygon! but God! They can be very very AGGRESIVE at times! Specially those fire ants. They look so scary when they travel in packs carrying those food scabs (food scabs or scabs alone?). SO SCARY! Just imagine yourself being eaten by a ton of ants ALIVE! noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The party last night was a BLAST!
It was simply amazing. (uh.. Smart commercial?)

No words or descriptions can ever explain what happened last night.
Bsta. Masaya sya. :)

Thanks Guys!!! I really had fun. <3

-(*)-

I love Sugarfree. I loved them ever since their first single - well, at least I thought that was their first single. Telepono really got into me. (FYI: Telepono is a song by Sugarfree.) It used to be my theme song (ever since grade 6 or 7 ..up until now) and it was one of the many songs I never got tired of listening. haaay. It amazes me so much because now I can play it! Yey! Ok. I know. I know. You don't share the same joy and happiness I feel but hey, playing it is an accomplishment for me already. So, don't budge!

If I could reach up and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.

-(*)-

An old picture. Family day. Me being "Whitney Houston".. Wala lng.



Claire was so ready to take the picture and Mia and Trisha already took their spot and posed ..but the evil Kyla took over and ruined everything. It came out really cute, you know. Haha. I love it to the bits!



I never thought we had this picture. I didn't even know that dad took a picture of us while we were watching the speech choir. Haha. Ang cute noh?

I watched Oprah awhile ago. That was the first time I actually watched it (believe it or not, it really was). Oprah's good. She made me feel guilty and lucky at the same time. I felt like a discontented person who thought about nothing but myself.

Thanks, Oprah.
Close na pla! Haha.

-(*)-

Two - Seven Party later! Yey! Excited!

Always You
By Sophie Zelmani

If it wasn't the oceans,
wasn't the breezes,
wasn't the white sands,
I might not be needed,

If I could sleep through the coal mines,
If I could breathe through hatred,
If I could, work through the summer,
then I woulnd't feel so humble,

oh you, it's always you,
it's always you.

If red roses weren't so lovely,
Wine didn't taste so good,
Stars weren't so romantic,
Then I could do what I should

Oh you, it's always you
It's always you.
Oh you, it's always you
It's always you

If you love, I could command it,
Get your head, to understand it,
I'd go twice, around the world,
Even though, I may not find it.

Oh you, it's always you,
It's always you.
You, it's always you,
It's always you.

I wish I could tell you that I'm feeling better everyday,
that it didn't hurt when you walked away.
My eyes are blind but I can see,
The sun no longer sets me free.

This is my 243rd post. whoah.
Ang galing.

LORD, HELP!

*groan*

BIO NA! OH NO!

For some reason, Bio has been the most crucial subject ever!!! .. and yet, my third year busmates say that its easy. damn. HOW DO YOU DEFINE "EASY"? Ayoko na. Suko na ako sa Bio .. kinakabahan na ako.

Do I dare not to study? Never.

-(*)-

I know you'll surely hate me for saying otherwise, but I just had to do it. I am deeply sorry. I regret it with all my heart. But then, I too was terrified of that bit of information.

Sorry.
I think I need to keep it safe with me.

-(*)-

Darn, Mister Postman.

I'm just suffering 'cause of your little goodbyes. And now I immensely despise that song because of your silly pathetic deliveries.

-(*)-

Eh, bakit naman hindi pwede sa akin?
Unti-unti ka nang nawawala eh.

Ang Magkamali
By Mr. Transylvania

Heto na naman ako, naghihintay sa ulan
Ngayoy'y basang basa't nasasaktan
Nagsisising hindi sinusunod ang mga payo
Bakit pa kelangang umasa sayo?

Ngayon ang madla'y galit na naman
Sinasadya ko bang ganun ang kalabasan?
Inasam ko lamang masiyahan muli
Ang munti kong pusong mahilig magkunwari

Ang hangin ng pagdusa'y nariyan na naman
Pinalalaruan ang bigat ng aking pasan
Bakit ba hindi mo natandaan?
Kanina pa ako nandito't iyong nalampasan.

Oo na. Sige na. Ako na naman ang mali
Pagpahingahin mo naman ako sandali
Ang hirap ding umasa sa isang pangako
Na unti unti namang nagiging malabo

Sorry na. Tanggapin mo na.
Eto lng ang kaya ko.
Ang hirap kasing tanggaping muli
Ganun ba kasama ang magkamali?

I want them all to hear my song,
So they could tell me I was wrong ..

-(*)-

I was making this perfectly-expressed entry of mine. And then when I'm finally done, stupidity got the best of me and I accidentally pushed this certian button called "delete" .. hate it when that happens.

Anyways, If you wanted to know what happened during the concert? Well, I think it would take me forever if I told you every detail so let's just say that the concert was so remarkable that I wanted to record it inside my head and replay it after again and again. :)

-(*)-

exams. exams. exams.

It wasn't 'til last night that I realized

.. Ang sarap matulog ng late. <3

-(*)-

I read half of my archive just now and I must say, my world is one hell of a bizzare maze. :) and I'm proud of it. Ahaha. Regine's right. I have different personas. One minute, I'm Kyla the hyper-active dude who never runs out of flowing energy. Then later on, I'm Kyla the gloomy, sad one with tears left to unveil.

Well, I guess she's right. I am a different me every single minute of the day. I can't help it. It's how I relate and interact with the people around me. It's just the way I am.

-(*)-

NOT AFFECTED

.. It's still working so well for me.

GOOD WORK, KYLA!

*patt patt*

New layout.
For a new life?
.. Not really
Maybe for a new phase in my life.
A new challenge.
A new wave.

weh? bagong layout lang.. may drama pa.

-(*)-

Ngayon ay kaarawan ng isang babaeng may apat na letra ang pangalan. wala lng. Ang sweet nung isang taong may pitong letra ang pangalan. Ang sweet talaga. Nakaka-inlove yung mga ginagawa nya para sa kaarawan nung may apat na letra ang pangalan..

Haaaay..

Sana sumaya ung taong may apat na letra ang pangalan. Talagang mahal sya nung may pitong letra and pangalan eh. <3

-(*)-

You're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground. You're the breath the blows these cool winds 'round. Trading places with an angel now.

Saw you last night. Dance by the light of the moon. Stars in your eyes. Free from the life that you knew. Saw you last night. Stars in your eyes. Smiled in my room.

-(*)-

Even though I step
And pain your feet when we dance
You just look at me
And you make me feel like I'm
The finest dancer there is

..Tangka yan

Together we run
And we escape the cold rain
With you I feel safe

.. Haiku naman yan

Another one of 'em

A So-so Reflected Piece Of Glass
By Mr. Transylvania

Regrets are always countless
A desire unseen, forgotten, concealed
Words escape him like a wisp in the wind
And the silver moon just starting to yield
He can't see through this glass
Can't distinguish anything though it's translucent and easy
Most words are just trying to escape
The scarce repast is just so hard to take in
The silver moons reflects through this glass
And blinds this man who wants to see
He regrets his words, his actions and his past
And finds consolation in this reflected glass
Still a so-so piece of reflected glass
Is what his denial desires
Vying between life ahead and life of the past
He knows what he wants though the reflection can be dire
His unfaithful echoes was passed through the darkness
The roar of his heart and the mirror's still useless
He just wanted to see, to unravel his past
But nothing came out of anything by chance
Then the glass almost broke of his rage and anger
He's dying to see what's there beneath and under
But what can he do? Where can he go?
It's only now he can see, and the past he can't let go
It's just a so-so reflected piece of glass
There's nothing there's to see ..

-(*)-

The Simple Things
By Mr. Transylvania

.. this poem's so childish.
I LIKE IT! haha.

The simple things around me
They're simple things that's free
The air that people never see
That doesn't seem so real

Those simple things that people do
Just too good to be true
The heir of kindness here to be
That's meant for you and me

That simple thing I long to feel
A gift from God above
Those little dots dressed to kill
Surprisingly is just love

wenk.
hindi ko alam kung pano i-end eh. So yan. Parang biglang end. Oh well, I'm open for suggestions sa ending..

-(*)-

You're still the wackiest and the most bizzare person in this world. You never cease to make me laugh. You make me exercise my abs at the most random times because of your crazy antics. (Exercise kasi tawang tawa ako kaya parang nag-eexercise na rin.)

So, for you, I will laugh.

Hahahaha!

and more

Hahahahahahahaha!

.. But, I don't know why you're still so different from the person I thought I knew before.. :'(

bleep

ang sakit ng kamay ko

naipit siguro sa mga sinabi mo
naapakan siguro ng matinding pagmamahal
ewan ko, bahala na
.. maghihintay na nga lng ako dito
bahala ng maiwan ng panahon

pero alam mo
mas masakit yung ginagawa mo.
mas matinding hilahil ang natatamo
pero.. sige
kung ano man gusto mo
yun na susundin ko

.. maghihintay na lng ako dito
bahala ng maiwan ng panahon
bahala ng maagusan ng sariling mga luha
bahala nang madala ng sariling pagpakasakit

bahala na, bahala na..

-(*)-

I'M STILL HERE
by Vertical Horizon
.. probably, the best song for me right now

I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll hold on while you drift away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one that's gone
I'm still here
Still here

Seeing the ashes in my heart
The smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place
But everything you wanted to take from me
Is everything that I could never be

Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one that's gone
I'm still here

Maybe tonight
It's gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay
I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole
When I saw you yesterday
But you didn't noticed
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you're gone, you can't return
I'm still here
Remember how you use to say I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here

Another one of 'em

WAITING
by fallout girl

I am waiting in this cold room
death defies my fear
tears fill my internal doom
and I see by more than years

I am waiting until the sun rises
warmth instills it's touch
I see and hear my own crisis
while tolerating such

I am waiting here in pain and greed
the time stops to think
trying hard to feel my need
the grudge can't simply sink

I am waiting here for you my dear
you step me up with faith
to see you waiting in the clear
is simply not my fate

-(*)-

STICK AROUND
by Azure

How many times do I daydream about making love to you and take you to a special place where it's only me and you .. I'll put away all your troubles on the other side of the world and wrap my arms around your heart and tell you you're my girl.

So let's go steal away in the night and we'll go far away from here to the place where our love is right. can I take you to my world?

Whenever you're sad, whenever you're crying. I'll be the one who wipes away your tears. whenever you call whenever you need me. I'll be the one who runs to you
giving my love. well you know how much I love you, so you better not let me down
I'm not asking for too much baby. just stick around.

A quiet day in the country or a rainy night in my room. we'll hide away under my sheets if the morning comes too soon. an afternoon in your eyes or a lifetime in your heart. forever just ain't long enough but it leads to take a start.

falling deeper in love with you. will you be there to catch me girl? are you falling deep with me too? can I keep you in my world?

Whenever you're sad, whenever you're crying. I'll be the one who wipes away your tears. whenever you call whenever you need me. I'll be the one who runs to you
giving my love. well you know how much I love you, so you better not let me down
I'm not asking for too much baby. just stick around.

Goodness how I love the song

-(*)-

A friend told me the truth awhile ago.
It definitely hurts me but the satisfaction
of knowing the whole truth fulfills me.

I am really really sorry guys,
I didn't mean to hurt you in any way.
SORRY. :'(

I'll be careful next time. really.

-(*)-

As I go through my journey in life, I am able to realize the good things God has given me. Everyday is like a miracle for me. Something very unexpected and very rewarding happens and God's just there to make it happen. God uses people to warn me, remind me that we should be doing His will not ours. I'm just so thankful that He's using my friends, families and seatmates as a tool or an instrument to mold me into something better.

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAVE HELPED BE THE PERSON I AM NOW.
keep on doing it!

Dude.

Oh my gosh. Awhile ago I was watching this Volleyball game - men's volley game. It was Brazil against Italy. Shucks. Ang hot nung lahat ng Italian players. whoah!

.. they all play good!

Cristian Savani's just one of 'em.


Gosh. Hottie.

crowded places never cease

3 days nga kaming walang pasok .. pero sangkatutak naman yung gagawin. tsk. tsk. Anong klase yun?

I'm wondering why I have these questions on my distressed mind and why they've been bothering me for the past few disheartened days.

ok. here goes.

why do people do such things
to confuse me even more?
why do they do it and
not know it confuses me?
why do they constantly do it?
why can't they just stop doing it?
why do it IN FRONT of me?
or why am i affected, anyway?

NOT AFFECTED.

That used to be my perspective, my motto, my thing in life - "I don't care. I'm totally not affected". It worked for me too well before and now it just lost it's sense and whole being. I want so badly to just let things slip and let it go ('cause that's the PERFECT solution), but I really can't. I am not that type of person. I think too damn much .. and I'm starting to despise it. Well, you can't really help it. It just happens.

maiiwasan ba?

.. hukilao ..

I'm trying my very best to keep quiet. I don't think I'm doing a good job but at least I'm trying. I want to be quiet, to be a deportment awardee, to be an academic awardee - i have to, actually. But somehow, the people around me are depriving me of doing so. I am labeled as one jolly, hyperactive dude in class. ay nako. :| totally not a good thing.

But i think it's really amazing
to be labeled yours.

.. hukilao ..

I can't believe mom told her friend about that. She knew it would shame me but then she thought of only herself. Devastating. Desperate call for help but no one answered. :'(

drown out the crowd

My day almost ended as bitter as how it started. Good thing though that some people passed by my way and turned everything upside down. One person who made my day real good is ..

my dad.

Suprising?

YEAH! and it creeps me out.

Well, what really happened was that I had a lot of things to do and I really needed the time to accompplish the hws/projects I'm required to do .. but then, time wasn't really on my side so, Cheryl and me had to go to this activity in Mary the Queen tonight. BUT! I asked dad if it was possible for us to just stay here and do our hws/projects .. and guess what? he agreed. total shock. YEY! .. and double yey. Now we have like 4 hours free! but of course, we're gonna spend our time wisely. :) right, cheryl? kahit katabi lang kita ngayon.. haha.

..nga pla..

SALAMAT SA LAHAT NG NAKAALALA NG BIRTHDAY KO! YOU ALL MADE MY DAY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

..picture ko..

hay nako. sana nga ganito talaga ang feeling ng mga tao ngayon. wag nga kayo ma-stress. idaan niyo na lng sa tawa. :))

*WHAT A FEELING*


..nga pala..

ibig daw nun sabihin, magtiwala ako.
aww. :X

really now

The anguish and anxiety of knowing that in a few more hours I'd be one year older dawns me. Fear instills in me the thought that in few years' time, I should be able to make my own decisions, stand on my own feet and do things on my own. Tomorrow I'm 15, then 16, 17 and suddenly I'm 18. Time never slows its pace for me. The clock has this inevitable tick that never ceases to make my fragile heart worry and panic 'till its beating start to pace down. What are the chances that some foolish girl, like me, would grow up matured and responsible? I can't spoil the good and arranged plan my parents intended for me. They worked too damn hard for that. Why is it that instead of enjoying my life as a teenage mutant ninja turtle (in short, teenager), I am living a life imbued with so much depression and stress. Why can't I take away the worries and problems from my distressed mind? Why is it that a soon-to-be 15 year old girl like me's living a life only a 26 year old man can?

God.

..certain people..

Cheryl:
..cheryl, whatever it is. I'm always here for you. Just learn to trust in the Lord and in yourself. KAYA MO YAN.

Miss ko na thursday nights at your house. :'(

Arianne:
I can't believe we're friends again. I really can't believe that that happened this morning. I miss you a lot and I hope you know that. :) Hope we can bring back everything the way it was before. I'm here for you .. really.

Although I might not be able to give you the best advice any good friend can give, I assure you that I can be the best listener you could ever have .. and that's a promise.

..oh yeah..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
JUSTIN DANIEL FOJAS DE ASIS!
hoy! kahit matagal ka ng naging manhind sa akin, salamat pa rin dun sa bear. :)

..random song..

maiiwasan ba ang bawat sandaling ika'y laman ng isip ko?

maiiwasan bang ngayo'y lilipas ng hindi kita nasisilayan?

nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na lalong mahulog sa iyo?

today exactly

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain
exceeds resources for coping with pain."

I actually believe that. People kill themselves 'cause they think they got no reason to live. The pain strikes and they think they can't handle it. Stupid people. God will never give you something you can't cope with. Why don't they hold on and ask God some help, or call Dr. Love .. doi

..about hw..

Yeah. We do have a lot of homeworks to do .. and I don't like it one bit. Dad and his buddies are all going on a trek today and I can't join them 'cause I have one bad knee (that he doesn't know of) and tons of homework piled on my tracks. Ugh. I really miss trekking. Once, we got lost in this mountain and it was hella fun.

Anyways, before I drown myself of frustration. Let's list down the few things I have to do today and tomorrow. In short, homeworks.

Computer - p. 47 to 48
(numbers 1, 4 and 6)
Biology - Study on Respiration and journal
Filipino - Florante reporting
(call apes about that)
Homeroom .. to my disgust - ENVELOPES
Statistics - Study on Median crap
Journalism - bring newspaper
History - Suicide articles and summary
(to be passed on thursday)
*have to start doing this*
Math - Magazine project and STUDY!

Let's all hope I can finish everything. I haven't got much time. I'm gonna die soon enough ..if you know what I mean. And I bet you don't. Haha. Just messin' around.

..stick with u..

I'm starting to love that song by Pussycat Dolls. :)
..nobody's going to love me better I'm going to stick with you forever

Ang cute pa.

..update on my knee..

It's feeling a LOT better. yey. I can walk kinda normal but when I put it on a certain angle. BOOM! .. ang sakit.

I can manage still. Paa lang yan. Malayo sa bituka. :)

..update on my life..

It's still messed up. Can't find my way round this bizzare maze. Ang hirap pa rin talagang manliit. I'm trying my very best but nothing seems to be happening. Oh well, that's your life Kyla. Accept it.

oist

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GINELLE.
sana nagustuhan mo..

..'bout today...

nakakaguilty naman. sana may ginawa ako. ang panget ng feeling na nakaupo ka lang dun habang lahat ng tao sa paligid mo busy.. nakakapangliit. nakakapangliit talaga. tapos meron akong napansin sa araw na toh na nakapangliliit pa lalo. ang panget talaga ng feeling.

..ui, sorry nga pala. sana mapatawad mo ako.

guys, 3 dun sa pinadala kong tanong ang binasa ni joe 'd mango.
ang saya. ung iba halatang ako, pero ung iba, kahit katabi ko walang ideya na ako nga yun. :)

God knows

alam mo ba ung feeling na nangliliit?

yung parang lahat sila ang galing,

tapos ikaw..

wala lng

onting galaw mo,

nakakahiya kasi sila matured tsaka reserved.

parang lahat sila may pinagaralan

tapos ikaw..

wala lng

parang may gusto kang abuting bagay

pero ndi mo kaya kasi nga..

wala lng ka lng

ang pangit nung feeling

sobra

..well, what really happened was

they all looked at me like i'm some kind of irresponsible crackpot moron..

*teary eyed*

Getting worse

I saw something that reminded me of you. I despised it. I hated it. disgusted me to death. You dictated me my every move. I was blinded of you and that. was.. really stupid. DEFINITELY STUPID! I believed everything you said 'cause I thought it was real. Now I realize it's all too damn fake. I hate myself for believing you. Meeting you was a mistake but believing you was a BIGGER mistake. I regret EVERYTHING. You've done the damage so severely and now you act like you don't even care at all. I hate the fact that you're living your life - totally moved on - leaving me lying here, crying and suffering the consequences meant for you! DAMN IT! I used to think every damn thing was my fault. But I was wrong.. It was all your fault. I can't believe I ended up like this - wrecked, shattered, broken. I can't believe that the deep slice you cut through my heart's still too fresh, too raw for me to handle. it was too much to bear. I can still feel that excruciating pain and suffering you burdened upon me.

How can you leave me just like that?

Where in the world did you get the nerves to say that I'm the one in need of changing? When in fact, in front of my very eyes, I can see the humongous makeover you've done to yourself. Mind you, it was a DISGUSTING scene. Seeing you being the girl I never knew before just eats my heart out.

I'm a changed girl now and I'm proud of it
I'm a better me!
A stronger me..

.. I used to care
But right now, I just don't care anymore
You're just a lousy crisp inside my damned head.

..uh..

Sorry guys, It wasn't until now, that I felt this
raging pain curling up inside me.
Naglalabas lang..

...and...

nanliliit pa rin ako.

*squeek*

A Beach Trip Like No Other

Just got from a very enjoying trip in Calatagan. It was cool to think that there we're a lot of people who joined us, even though we started planning the trip only at 1 o'clock in the morning that very same day we were supposed to go.. Tita Jenny, Tito Edi, Tito Jojo, Ada, Alfonso, Tito Bodgie, Tita Tess, Ate Janel, Martha and our family went to the Beach.. we swam, played Volleyball, slept and ate.

IT WAS TOTALLY FUN.

Alfonso, he's this super duper hyper dude that has the most handsome face ever. I had plans of marrying him. But hello?! He's onle nine. HAHA! He got me for a few inevitable moments.. Anyways, My first impression of him was - sh*t. ang gwapo. But when he started groofing around - sh*t. sayang.. gwapo pa nmn. I imagined him to be a really really cute guy when he grows up, but he won't be interested in girls and he would be just a goofball in class or in school.

But hey.. He still has the chance to change or mature and realize his capacity to make girls shout and jump 'cause of his divine presence..

yes. he's THAT gorgeous.

Sysy, the most amazing dog I've ever seen. He's this very gentle and protective dog. Very much alert for his owner's safety and very obedient. Can you just imagine a dog making mano to his amo whenever they arrive home? I don't know how he does it but I sure think it's uber sweet. He was our bodyguard agaisnt the other askal dogs in that beach. And the one cool thing that amazed me to the highest level was that he jumped.. literally, jumped into the water to save my acting-drowning uncle. He didn't know what to do but when he saw my uncle "drowing".. He started panicking, he ran from side to side (probably, looking for a nice spot to jump), he barked, he JUMPED and he swam! Yey!

After that amzing moment, all of us clapped and sighed of awe and admiration for this amazing pitbull.

...yes, he's a pitbull - a gentle one, very gentle, indeed.

Dad bought a volley ball and guess what? a volleybal net. We we're THAT desperate to have something to do. We set up the net and started gathering people to play..

First team - Mommy, Tito Bodgie, Tita Jenny, Tita Tess

Second team - Daddy, Ate Janel, Tito Jojo, Me

We played volleyball and we felt like proffesional players. Haha! I always thought of myself as a sucker in volleybal but Daddy, who was a player in his highschool days (and that thought scared me to death), taught me how to serve the proffesional way and to play the proffesional way. Suprisingly, I learned something and my serving skills improved. I, myself, was amazed and at the same time shocked everytime the ball went the other side and it's because of me. Anyways, the game was hilarious. We kept on banging on each other and making the other team look bad. It was really funny. I just can't imagine these adults play volleyball that hard just to prove that they haven't lost their nuts and they're young enought to play volleyball. I have to say, they're all pretty good. In the end, we lost. Even though we have 2 star players in our team (definitely, not me..) we still lost. After the game we said "Pinagbigyan lang namin kayo kasi baka mapahiya kayo eh.." HAHAHAHA! We laughed so hard that we almost wet our pants...

What kind of beach trip goes on without swimming?

not a beach trip at all. right?

So, yeah, we swam and swam and swam some more.. and now, guess what? I'm super DARK (to the highest level). Don't be surprised if I suddenly pop out from nowhere 'cause you won't see me because I blend with the walls. Even though we almost finished 3 bottles of Sunblock we still had our share of bathing suit marks on our skin. Ugh. That's ok. Black Beauty nmn ako eh.
Mangarap ka pa, iha.

Guys, I now know how to play Tong-its.
Any challengers? haha.
..I can say that I'm an addict already

Better Days

I can't help but notice...

You seem to be the only person that
makes me happy and merely alive these past few days..

Thanks.

Whoah.

Things happened so fast.
Only vague blurrs are left inside my head.
I wasn't able to grasp them.
How very sad.

ANOUNCEMENT:
Ms. November has arrived.

Welcome Ms. November!
Have you had a nice trip?
You've come so early I didn't even notice Mr. October leaving. It was nice to have Mr. October in this peculiar site, though. He made our lives a bit more special. At any rate, we still are glad you have come to visit us, Ms. November. We hope you'll enjoy your stay here. I just have to say, you won't be alone.. Mr. December will soon be coming ang he will be bringing some Christmas spirit and joyful cheers.

I do hope Ms. September will drop by.
I miss her.

Damn.
I'm acting like a crazy lunatic.

NEWS FLASH

Guys..

The computer inside our room is broke.
...not my fault

So, probably, I'd rarely go online over the sembreak. If ever I'm going to go online, its either I'm inside an internet cafe OR I'm inside my tita's room.

Being inside my tita's room is CRIMINAL in its whole being.
... don't ask why

And going to an internet cafe is really impossible since there are no internet cafes in this god-forsaken village. And the nearest one is the one in Ever Gotesco, which is NOT really near.(ok. That was ironic..)

Well, I can live without going online.
I'm just worried about our English reporting.
Denise is supposed to send me a copy of the chapter Sir Al gave us.

Ugh.

Bahala na nga si Lord.

...what I did today...

Well, today is the first day of our sembreak. I love Sembreaks.

So today, I woke up. duh.
Then I watched TV.
Read a book. (The Giver)
Listened to my CDs.
Wrote in my diary.
Arranged my diary.
(By arranging my diary, I meant.. cleaning it. Oh nevermind. Long story)
Then I slipped into Tita A's room.
(Which makes me an official criminal of pride and justice.)
Then later I'll watch more TV.
Then go to mass.
And sleep.

not really interesting huh? Well, do you want me to put what I did exactly inside the bathroom?

HAHA!

...AND ABOUT MY CARD...

Mom and Dad didn't get my card.
Oh yess. I can hear the Hallelujah Chorus.
I'm safe.... for now

But I think my grades went up this quarter. Probably, because of the Speech Choir.
Oooh.
Speech Choir.
Sore subject.

Anyways,
I'm excited to go to Baguio. And at the same time.. I'm not.
Its just that I have LOTS of things or homeworks to do and going to Baguio will just make me feel guilty. But then.. going to Baguio will give me the chance to bond with my family.

Is that you Kyla? You want to bond with your family?

No. That was the EMO KYLA that took over the REAL KYLA for a few seconds.

Haaay.

Why does life have to be such a warfare?
Let's just all pray for World Peace.

And II-7,
Please TRY contact Mara on her birthday.
I don't know if I'm allowed to post her landline or cell number.
So, just look at our class directory.
PLEASE DO GREET HER!!!
Cge kayo..
Kung walang Mara sa mundo.
Walang panget. :)


Peace Mara.
HABBURDEY!

Pictures Meant for Trash v.5

At 8pm, Cheryl's officially out of our country. Not out as in banished or whatever. She's off to Australia for 5 whole days. :(
I'm going to miss her.

Hey Cheryl,
Don't forget to bring me home the ff:

Kangaroo
Fresh fresh milk
Dress
Chocolates
One Ipod
Kangaroo
And one Joey

THANKS!

Haha! Joke lang, Cheryl. Enjoy.
You really are a good good friend.

Hanggang boarding gates ka-txt parin kita.

Aww. You're soo sweet. :)

...today...

Today was pretty much boring..
Just 2 events for the Sophies.
...Chess and Badminton...

2nd place in Chess.
Champion in Badminton.
Champion in Swimming.

YEY!!!

GO SOPHIES!!!

...PICTURES...

Random Stuffs:
One flower shaped balloon. [Thanks to Ginelle.]


And a part of our ever-so-yellow bathroom. hihi. :)


The Onglao's
ANG GALING NI MIA! YEY!
Stopdance Champ!


Doing it the SUMO way!
Go Mrs. Sumo!
You totally rock. :)



..at syempre.

Mga magagandang dilag na naghihintay ng biyaya.



Wait.

Maganda lang pala ung nasa kanan. :)

Pictures Meant For Trash v.4

Spent most of my time at the PCH. It was fun. :)

Aprille and moi.. (again..)


Cheryl, Abs, ME, Aileen and Charlene
..while waiting for the Seniors-Sophies volley game


Doing what I do best.
Being me..


I still can't believe that we lost against the Freshmen..

Pictures Meant for Trash v.3

Sports Fest.

Natalo kami ng Freshmen sa Volleyball.

Ang cute daw nung cheer namin.

Hinintay daw nila ung.. SO-RE!

Haaay..

Natalo pa rin kami ng freshmen. wow.
Downfall agad.

Anyways.. Here are the pictures from today's oh-so-enjoying Sports Fest.

Freshmen.Sophies.Juniors.Seniors


Aprille and moi.



Them singing the song..
''That's the way it is..''



Walang kasawaang pictures ni Sara. :|
(Yan na. I-copy paste mo na..)





Mga referee na ewan. no comment.
Ayokong picturan ang mga mukha nila.
Masisira ang camera ko at ikahihiya sila ng mga pamilya nila. :)


Trisha..


And Karla showing off their royal hotness. Hot, pare.


Nag-pacute si Kyla,




At nag-project sila Abe and Cheryl..
..galing ng fourth floor (MAIN!)


Busmates kong ''Nahihiyang'' magpa-picture. Haha!



Ang dakila naming driver, Mang Teddy,
na nanglibre ng isaw knina.


Ang gaganda nung mga numero sa jerseys nila noh?
May three, seven, nine, eleven..
Lahat na atah eh. :)




At siyempre..
Ang peyborit ko sa lahat.


THREE
and
SEVEN.

That's all, folks.
There will still be more tomorrow.
Haha.

...to the sophies..

Guys, PLEASE CHEER! Goodness.
We have TWO more days.
We can still regain our pride and dignity..
It's just a game anyway.
Only our pride and dignity are hurt.
So, let's all pray that we don't shame ourselves once again,
and in the end, we'll raise the pink flag with
so much honor and satisfaction. :)

...pero...

Sabi ng Freshmen:
Ang Sophies cheer ng cheer, wala namang binatbat.

EXCUSE ME!
Volleyball lang ba ang basehan ng Sports Fest.
Meron pang Softball, Track, Tennis, Chess..

And hello?! Talo na kayo sa kagandahan!

Haha. Joke..

Ako lang pla panalo dun.
Hindi buong Sophomores.

...just some things is HATE...

Haaaaaaaaay..

I hate understanding situations.

I hate having to realize what really happened

or even having to know what EXACTLY happened.

I hate guessing.

And waiting..

.. waiting for nothing.

I hate being caught in between.

I hate being forced to choose one side
and having to fight for it.

I hate seeing people fight..
..fighting over some useless crap

I hate guessing.

I hate guessing.

And I hate guessing..

Buti pa si Lord.
May sagot sa lahat.
Wala pang tinatago.

hmph.

Oh yeah, I hate guessing.