The Scotches

Maybe you're wondering.. what the heck are Scotches? (wrong question!) It should be, WHO are the Scotches? Well, These Scotches all did smething to me. They're all from the different parts of my life.. My friends, Loved one, Family, Neighbors, Idols.. etc. Particularly, everyone connected to me. I don't know why i called them the Scotches. Maybe because when i was thinking of an appropriate name for them, i saw a scotch tape beside this laptop. (ha. ha.) Anyways, at the moment, every Scotch in my life, doesn't care about me.. You can see it actually. It's very clear. They don't know they said it, wrote it, sang it or whatever but it hit me.

"Hit me baby one more time"

Why did i say "Hit me baby one more time"? (or why did i sing it? blech.) ok. I'll give an example. Washing the dishes. What do you first think when you hear those words? if u ask me, it'll be.. oh. no. haha! Cause you know, when washing the dishes you have to deal with leftover food and some other yikee stuff people eat. Ok maybe for some other people, washing the dishes is "ok". Before, i hated washing the dishes cause it will dry my skin (yeah! call me maarte), wet my clothes and its sometimes very yucky to touch food. but after sometime, i liked it. I like the feel of the water. Soaping the plates. and everything.. for some reason, i totally LOVED it. i love doing something that i really hated. There's a torn between "Love" and "hate".

Did you get my point? i guess not.

My point is.. No matter how these Scotches hurt and ignore me. I have to accpet them. They're a part of me. What they are doing is for my own good. No doubt about it, i'm learning from their and my mistakes. I have to embrace the fact that how much hurt i feel, soon enough there'd be sun and everything will go back to normal.

Now, Did you get my point? i guess not. no one will.

Thick or Thin?

It's hopeless.
I'll never find that star i can wish on. But now, the sky is listening to me. There's comfort in just knowing that wherever i go a part of me is staying here with you. There's a good kind of pain. An insane kind of sane. I don't need to take a pill to fix what you do. Cause baby all i do is suffer from the symptoms of you. When i reach out, I don't find your hand. Were they wasted words? Did they mean a thing? All that precious time, going down the drain. Someday I'll just keep pretending you'll stay. I've been dreaming of a different ending. I want to hold on but it hurts so bad. Yeah! If that's revenge, its working dude! I keep holding my breath while I'm trying to breath. The more i answer your questions, the more i'm helping myself to lose you. but then, you made me want to live like it's the last moon rising. Scream just like no one's there. Maybe a part of me is fine never knowing. Oh shit!

If all these words don't make sense and they contradict each other. Well, they are just some words that pop out of my mind from time to time. Yeah! It's kind of mixed. But what can i do? That's that.

The Horse's Whisperer

"You may fight what's happening or accept them" -kyla

Im gonna tell you i likely story.. actually, it's from a movie. ok. here goes..

There's this family. A daddy (Eric), a mommy (Nancy) and a daughter (Carrie). They are one happy family. They enjoy vacations, have quality time and they love each other very much. One day, when they were in resort. they decided to go horse back riding. Now, Carrie here LOVES horses So, Her parents allowed her to ride her own horse while Eric and Nancy share the other horse. After a while, Carrie's horse tripped. Both Carrie and the horse fell hard on the ground and was hurt badly. Carrie broke her leg thus requiring her to get a thingy on her leg. (like some brace or something) The horse was badly hurt and they needed someone to cure her immedietly. Nancy did'nt want to send the horse to a vet or some horse specialists for she doesn't trust them. So, she researched and looked for a person who can handle horses manually. Finally, she found one, she found this guy called "The Horse's Whisperer" in an article who handles horses with these kinds of problems. Carrie and Nancy brought the horse to him. Eric was left at the city for he has work.

They went to the province where "The Horse's Whisperer" is (aka Chris) and let him see the horse. When Nancy and Chris' eyes met, no doubt about it, there was love at first sight! After a few weeks, they already have this thing going on. One night, they were both sitting beside the pond. Romantic scenes came.. blah blah. then KISS! and so, the night goes on..

The next day, Eric made a suprise visit. Everyone was suprised, especially Chris and Nancy. Nancy and Chris started to ignore each other. Nancy tried to talk to Chris but Chris knew what's right, and that is for them to stop. Nancy on the other hand already decided what she wanted.

Eric noticed what was happening so, he decided to give Nancy space and head off to the city with Carrie. Eric didn't leave Nancy totally, he only wanted Nancy to know what she really wants and he let her decide who she's gonna choose.

I chose not to see the ending of this movie for i don't want to be influenced by it. I'm kind of in the same situation right now. I won't tell which character am i. HAHA! :|

I just think in these kind of situations you can only do 2 things. its either you fight what's happening or accept them.

I don't know what i would do. So, I'll just let Elise decide. (And it looks like she already made a decision.) How nice!

(WAIT!! What the heck happened to the horse??? Well, She was cured but there was a slight problem, The people needed to convinve her that she's a horse, not a cow!)

Know what?

Been here for quite awhile, but yet, a lot has happened. Can't tell 'em all. There quite private. Hehe! When i wake up in the morning i always feel this rush of excitement knowing that i'm finally here in the US but then this horrible thought comes creeping into my head, then right then and there, I'm dead. I know it's so shallow. But i can't help it. It's too hard on me. I know this is going to freaking happen.

Well, enough! I'll just go on with my life. Go through my "changing" process and live life. From now on, all i'll do is study! That'll be my first priority (well, after God). That's not so bad, right? Lessons here in the states are (i think) the same with the Philippines. I can manage. (i guess) :|

I know this is gonna happen. It still creeps me out.